Prayer has saved my life but so has therapy… I can say that adding therapy to myself care routine has enhanced my prayer life, how? Let me explain.
Last year I was in such a weird space, mentally emotionally, I was conflicted in my identity I was dealing with grief, motherhood, work stress, friendship stress, marriage, and yet still trying to process the loss of my mom, I prayed yes, but I believe somethings you have to cough out (deliverance) and somethings you have to talk out. If you’re anything like me talking about how you feel can be a bit of a struggle. I never truly understood why I struggled so much to be open about how it felt, my prayers became shallow sometimes because of it, I would hold things in thinking if I said this in prayer maybe God would be upset, if i really told him how i felt right now, maybe he wouldn’t see me as worthy because here I am still struggling with these particular issues. Mama, that was so far from the truth!!
I didn’t have a breaking point or an extra special ah ha moment that made me want to consider therapy, honestly I did my research it was something I always wanted to try, and If I can be real it’s not something that I was taught to embrace, the whole concept of telling someone my business still left me super uncomfortable, but that was part of the problem, because I was so guarded, no one could get to the real issues not even God with my surface prayers, I would go in praying for family, praying for friends, what you need prayer for that I got you!! but when it came to praying for myself? Aside from my woe is me Jesus fix it prayers, No it didn’t go beyond that for myself, when God would highlight certain things in my own heart, I would say not today, not right now, but it was simply because I didn’t know how to confront those issues. I was afraid. I didn’t know what that would look like, what kind of work it would require from me! We can pray and pray and pray but we have to learn how to eventually step out and do the work. So yes you can pray and still go to therapy, you can love God with all of your heart and still need help with sorting through the issues of your soul, he can’t heal what we refuse to reveal, and after it’s revealed he can’t heal what we refuse to let him touch, I was holding on to my wounds, they were comforting, did you know we can even let our wounds define us? They become a part of our personalities, we don’t know who we are outside of being broken, but I was doing more damage, going to therapy truly helped me see the root cause of a lot of my issues, it helps you uncover a lot of things we choose to hide because of shame, guilt, it’s a safe space that allows you time to talk about you, and mama I don’t know about you but I was not getting a lot of free time to just talk about what was going on with me, without judgment without opinions, just bare and telling all the ugly truth, ugly crying and all! Therapy isn’t a solution to your problem, your therapist won’t “fix” you but what they will do is give you the tools to help you, it reminds me of the man waiting by the pool, “will thou be made whole” after that Jesus gave him instructions, it was up to the man to use what he had been told or to stay in that low place and remain broken, therapy helps you make that choice every day, it will help you learn how to pray for your self, but with more direction and insight to what it is you are dealing with. personally, I didn’t know I was dealing with a few things but after a few sessions I was able to submit those things to God in prayer, not in a woe is me God fix it but father help me, guide me, walk with me, Holy Spirit give me strength, asking for wisdom as I choose to confront the issues of my soul, we have to do the work, therapy teaches you to be proactive, aggressive, make the choice, we can pray but we have to also do the work, this gives you a level of authority because you now know a little more about the enemies of your soul, you can then study ways to deal with it, but praying and doing nothing will not help! If you’re struggling mentally, emotionally, I encourage you to seek help, there are Christian therapist, I believe they are truly gifted to help confront the enemies of your souls the things that keep us from walking into true purpose and healing, going to a therapist does not make you less of a mom, it doesn’t make you weak, it makes you strong, it makes you courageous, you are making the choice to be made whole. You can have a strong prayer life and still get help it doesn’t take away from God’s effectiveness in your life, it will put your heart in a posture that’s more open and ready for him to touch, because you’ve made the choice to remove the shame, the guilt that’s keeping his loving from truly flowing in you and through you , it’ll allow his truth to flow, it will truly enrich your prayer life, it’ll help you to know yourself more and love your self. XOXO, T'era Burton Founder of Concealer and A Prayer Life